Resolutions

As the winter's DVD releases heat up and you're looking for something to do with the kids, you may be tempted to head for your local rental store. But what to rent? Transformers is not the movie to bring young kids to see. Although you'll find plenty of Transformers toys aimed at the younger set, the movie is rated PG-13 and drawing criticism of groups like Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood. I saw an ad for this movie this weekend while watching TV with my wife. The ad was jarring, violent-action packed at a fast pace.

So, when I saw some favorable reviews for this movie, I went trolling around to my local Blockbuster store, rented it and saw not only is it packed with scenes of loud, hectic combat (including gunfire), destruction, and flying missiles and bodies. But it also has a male horse mounting a female horse and its erect penis (which we clearly see) is placed in a rubber sleeve; the horse thrusts repeatedly and the expelled fluid is collected in a jar. A fully nude man (his bare buttocks, chest, penis and testicles are visible) walks into a room where people are gathered, climbs on a table, walks across the table and out another door. A man wearing jockey shorts lies in a bed next to a bare breasted woman (nothing else sexual is shown). A man wearing jockey shorts lies on a bed, and a nude man jumps on top of him (we see his bare back, buttocks and testicles). A man takes off his pants (we see his bare buttocks and testicles) and pours water on his testicles for a stunt. A man sits at the top of a pole with his bare buttocks exposed, and a sex aid is flung hard up the pole toward him. A man wears a helmet with a tube attached to it, another man flatulates into a cup attached to the tube, the man wearing the helmet breathes in, and then vomits repeatedly (we see goo on the helmet) and we see feces in the cup.A man inserts a tube into his anus, beer is poured into the tube, the beer enters the man's abdomen, some of the beer squirts out when the man stands up, and the rest pours out after another man uses a plunger on him. A man puts powder on his buttocks and then flatulates, causing a cloud of powder to blow into another man's face.

Parents need to know that even though the myriad tie-in toys are being marketed to kids as young as 2, this explosion-heavy action movie based on the '80s cartoon and action figures is not for young children ... no matter how "cool" they think the robots/cars are.